Disappointment and unfulfilled expectations are experienced by every person—young and old alike. Though common to all, every disappointment is a seed planted in our minds; each one—either subtly or obviously—bringing emotional pain and laying a foundation for fearful mindsets to take root and grow. The moment we are exposed to risk, this fear-based memory will erect its internal self-protective walls in an attempt to keep us from being hurt or disappointed again.
The truth is that we are powerless to control people and circumstances. This is a good thing because we do not want to be controlled by another nor do we want to legislate another’s heart. We do not want obligatory partnerships but rather ardently desire those who will team with us for a united purpose; we want to align with ones who work hard from their own intrinsic motivation and passion, and partner in honesty and integrity.
In the same way, we cannot prevent things that are beyond our control. We might be riding the wave of momentum with our beautiful team partnerships, complimentary skills, and shared vision and values, but there are things that hit unexpectedly. Nonetheless, in the middle of these painful sucker punches we hold the authority to choose our response.
Powerful leaders strategize before the disappointment. They determine their course of action so they do not emotionally hijack. (see www.drmelodye.com/emotionalhijacking)
I’ve learned through the years that I can be blindsided by unexpected situations. I am sure everyone can say, “I’ve been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt!” This challenge is common to all.
So what is our response? Do we choose to build walls around our heart and reject all relationships? Of course not! That would be self-sabotage limiting trusted partnerships that we need for success! Do we complain and say, “It’s time to quit,” or “This vision is not worth all my effort”? Of course not! That would be sabotage to the goals set before us laying waste to all of our and other’s worthy investments.
Since throwing in the towel or running from relationships is not an option for successful leadership, what is our option? If I could wrap up all the attitudes and actions of powerful self-motivated leadership and break it down to one simple principle it would be this: “The Power of Movement.”
“We will never get anywhere sitting in park!”
Physical muscles will atrophy without movement as will your self-leadership muscles. Atrophy is a weakening, deterioration, and degeneration because of a choice made from the weariness of the mind and fear-provoking emotions. Escape will never bring freedom!
There is power—an ability to make an effect—in movement. Movement, by its very definition, is a process that takes us from one place or position to another. Therefore, when the unexpected rudely assaults us or our positioning, we must immediately place guard upon our heart and mind. Pity-parties— no matter how short—are physically and physiologically destructive and therefore unacceptable. In the midst of the storm of temporary disappointments is the worst time to grow passive or make permanent life decisions.
“Powerful leadership is revealed in the difficult seasons of life.”
Utilize your amazing intellect and wisdom (not fearful emotions) to hold steady your course. There is always a solution! Keep your heart open relationally as you allow the trustworthy to speak into your life. Reject old, fear-based beliefs based on past experiences. You have weathered the past tempests and increased. This is a new day! Take all the goal-driven motivations you possess and move forward because the best is yet to come!
From one leader to another
Dr. Melodyne Hilton