The Smile That Hide My Pain

The Smile That Hide My Pain

by | Sep 30, 2025 | Articles

Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness and Moving Forward

You can’t always change what happens to you, but you can choose how you respond.

From the outside, my life looked polished and put together. I was married to a pastor who also traveled as a minister, smiling on the front row while my four children sat beside me, perfectly dressed for church. To those watching, I looked steady, faithful, strong—even a role model they might have admired, imagining my life as perfect. Yet the truth is, appearances can be deceiving. Even today, when you scroll through social media, you may see people—even ministers—who look like they have everything together. But behind the curated photos, there can be hidden pain and scars you’ll never see in a snapshot.

But behind that smile was a woman breaking inside. I was wounded. I was angry. I was carrying pain I didn’t feel safe to share. I don’t call that hypocrisy, because I truly longed to worship God and raise my children in His presence. I believed the Word even when the one preaching it didn’t live it. Yet there were very few—if any—people I felt I could confide in.

And that’s when I learned something sobering: people can’t help you with a burden you never tell them about. But even when no one else knows, God knows. And when you reach the end of yourself, His faithfulness becomes your lifeline.Forgiveness and Freedom

Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting. It’s about letting go so the offense no longer controls you. When you allow pain and betrayal to define you, it becomes your prison. Bitterness poisons your thoughts and even affects your body.

But Scripture makes it clear:

“See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)

Bitterness binds you, not the one who wronged you. Forgiveness, on the other hand, frees you. It doesn’t excuse what was done, but it releases you from being chained to it.Choosing to React Differently

We can’t control how people treat us, but we can decide how we will respond. Jesus showed us another way:

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)

That is not easy. It takes courage to forgive, strength to respond in love, and faith to believe that God will deal justly with every situation. But when you choose forgiveness, you take back control from the offense and place your future in God’s hands.Don’t Let the Past Define You

One of the enemy’s greatest lies is that your past is who you are. He whispers, “You are your betrayal. You are your mistake. You are your failure.” But that is not what God says.

Paul reminds us:

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13–14)

Your identity is not your pain. It is not your history. It is who God says you are—redeemed, restored, chosen, and loved.Living in Peace, Not the Past

You cannot go back and change what happened. But you can choose not to live there anymore. Holding on to the past breeds depression, anxiety, and fear. Letting go opens the door to peace.

God Himself extends this promise:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18–19)

When you forgive, when you release what was, you step into what God is doing now.Conclusion: Defined by Christ, Not by Pain

You are not what happened to you. You are who Christ says you are. And He calls you victorious:

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)

Today, you have a choice. You can hold on to the hurt and let it define you—or you can forgive, let go, and step into the newness and peace that God has waiting.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the past disappears. It means the past no longer dictates your future.

Discover Your True Identity in Christ

Discover Your True Identity in Christ

by | Apr 2, 2025 | Articles

Finding Our True Identity in Christ

In today’s world, identity is a major topic of discussion. People often ask, “What do you identify as?” or “Where do you find your identity?” The concept of identity shapes how we see ourselves and how we interact with the world around us.

What is Identity?

The dictionary defines identity as “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.” But as Christians, our identity is not rooted in worldly definitions—it is found in Christ. We are continually transitioning into His likeness and image (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Where Do We Find Our Worth?

It’s natural to find comfort and security in the roles we hold. Personally, I have found great joy and purpose in being a mother and grandmother. My family, my parents, brothers, children, and grandchildren—has been a source of stability and strength for me.

However, Jesus gives us a sobering reminder in Matthew 10:37:
“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

This does not mean we should love our families any less, but rather, that our ultimate worth, security, and trust must be found in Christ alone.

Identity Built on the Fruit of the Spirit

Our character and identity as believers are shaped by the fruit of the Spirit:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” — Galatians 5:22-23

Some people find their identity in wealth, success, or recognition. Others build their worth on titles and positions—whether in ministry or the corporate world. But being a pastor, evangelist, teacher, prophet, or apostle is not an identity; it is a calling. These roles are responsibilities given by God for the purpose of perfecting and equipping the saints for the work of the ministry. (Ephesians 4:11-12).

Likewise, positions such as CEO, manager, supervisor, or leader in any field can be blessings. However, if our security is found in promotions, financial success, or public acknowledgment, we will always be left wanting. Instead, we are called to do everything unto the Lord:

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.” — Colossians 3:23

A Testimony of True Identity

My father, Bishop Bill Hamon, gave his life to Jesus at a small brush arbor meeting with just a few teenagers in an open field in Oklahoma. The woman who ministered that night may never have known the impact of her obedience. If her identity had been based on large crowds, financial support, or public recognition, she might have felt like a failure.

But because her identity was in Christ, her worth was found in His grace and mercy. And in the end, her reward in heaven will be just as great as my father’s—because she was faithful to her calling. This is the essence of finding our fulfillment in God rather than in earthly success.

You never know if that one person you are talking to and helping will change thousands of lives. God has called us to be obedient in the seemingly small things as much as the seemingly large more noticeable things. Obedience will help to form our character and our identity. 

The Danger of Misplaced Identity

When we place our identity in people, fame, fortune, or material possessions—even in our families and mentors—we will inevitably face disappointment. These things are temporary, but our identity in Christ is eternal.

My True Identity

At the end of the day, I identify as a Christian—someone who is being transformed into the likeness and image of Christ. From glory to glory, I seek to reflect His character through the fruit of the Spirit in my life.
May we all find our true identity, worth, security, and purpose in Him alone.